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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.andtheplotthickens.co/satire</loc>
    <changefreq>daily</changefreq>
    <priority>0.75</priority>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.andtheplotthickens.co/satire/2026/3/13/local-fitness-coach-chastized-by-pearl-clutchers-for-marketing-her-asstastic-fitness-regime-with-the-slogan-if-you-build-it-they-will-cum</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2026-03-14</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/f1d999bc-1ed5-4187-908f-e8b9b506c2ab/IMG_0075.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Local Fitness Coach Chastized by Pearl Clutchers for Marketing Her “Asstastic” Fitness Regime with the Slogan “If You Build It, They Will Cum” - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Grabbit had worked her ass off, and she was ready to make them cum.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.andtheplotthickens.co/satire/2025/9/25/h84plfolpw0bfu529k12bd62um7w17</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-09-25</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/647c91af-9009-474b-98d9-5591d9a9370a/IMG_4511.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Man Misses Call and Drops Ball  &amp;nbsp; - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Despite being somehow generic replicas of one another, they were all married, and all seemed to have the same carat of diamond rings on their left hands. And then there were the matching Balenciaga totes. But none of them, insofar, were the “one that got away”, his beloved Stella.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/475ca720-4560-44dd-ae44-9fb2f6593d23/IMG_4507.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Man Misses Call and Drops Ball  &amp;nbsp; - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Stella could always feel a mistake coming on, and to her delight, there was Carlton.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/73333a0d-a07a-482c-ae8d-3ba71cd3e07e/IMG_4512.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Man Misses Call and Drops Ball  &amp;nbsp; - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Carlton felt awkward as it has been a long time since he had touched a woman.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/2b5ee3af-ee48-4ddd-b135-cadc074c91e0/IMG_4514.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Man Misses Call and Drops Ball  &amp;nbsp; - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>“Boy,” Stella thought, “the dummy just isn’t getting it.”</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/d4f54188-78dd-4a4c-8368-bc26b26f1b07/IMG_4513.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Man Misses Call and Drops Ball  &amp;nbsp; - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Stella couldn’t take anymore. She had places to see and people to do.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.andtheplotthickens.co/satire/2025/9/25/un-raptured-couple-headed-for-divorce-court-after-confessing-marital-sins</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-09-25</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/4ae81b1d-ce77-43e0-88f9-b04b5272e0bd/IMG_4490.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - “Un-raptured Couple Headed for Divorce Court after Confessing Marital Sins” - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Upon not being raptured, following their confessions the night before, felt that they’d be better off going their separate ways before one of them took things too far. How they’d split the taxidermy furnishings in their luxe River Ranch home remains to be seen.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.andtheplotthickens.co/satire/happy-dystopian-mothers-day-guest-post-dacia-arnold</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2019-05-10</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1557447810735-ZXQBWPEQEAG0H8938R41/dacia+m+arnodl+apparent+power+diazem+trilogy.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Happy (Dystopian) Mother’s Day -- Guest Post from Award Winning Author Mom Dacia Arnold</image:title>
      <image:caption>Apparent Power is the first novel in the dystopian DiaZem Trilogy by author, mom, &amp; Super Woman, Dacia Arnold. It’s kick-ass writing by a mom, for moms.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1557447593399-13DI2O8K1CYAMPBFY9JE/rave+reviews+dacia+m+arnold.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Happy (Dystopian) Mother’s Day -- Guest Post from Award Winning Author Mom Dacia Arnold</image:title>
      <image:caption>Just to prove my point, I’m including this screenshot of just a few of the rave reviews Dacia’s writing has merited. It’s Mother’s Day, ladies. Treat yo’self to some new literature.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.andtheplotthickens.co/satire/top-10-reasons-writers-arent-writing</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2019-04-30</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1556591502899-JRE9YB8KB0FRARSG2WL9/top+10+reasons+writers+not+writing+cartoon.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Top 10 Reasons Writers Aren't Writing</image:title>
      <image:caption>“Oh, so you just…write all day? That’s it? You just…write?” —the Janets of the world I wish, Janet. I wish. —All of the author moms. All of them.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.andtheplotthickens.co/satire/elephant-doctor</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2019-02-09</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1547830815495-H6PTUHEQ0X3ZUCB3ULF6/soap+opera+villain.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - The Elephant Doctor</image:title>
      <image:caption>He was nefariously hot. Like a soap opera villain. Smolder, bitches.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1549723219846-ZPKCZSIFOIL2WHA5CL7F/smiling%2Bwoman%2Blong%2Bhair%2Bvinicius-santos-730735-unsplash.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - The Elephant Doctor</image:title>
      <image:caption>“I think I failed the physical exam. May I have another?”</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1547831002283-WZUAZS8H4K3T75IUNAUM/hot+doctor.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - The Elephant Doctor</image:title>
      <image:caption>I’m going to need to talk to our HMO about our plan’s lack of striptease coverage.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1547831157361-OZL5QYCUG14RX03217BY/elephant+dick+joke.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - The Elephant Doctor</image:title>
      <image:caption>You can whip me if you want to. I’ve been a naughty patient.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.andtheplotthickens.co/satire/top-secret-sex-tips-southern-women</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2018-08-14</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1534282125814-OAELSJOACLQRFPE89CX8/southern+women+faking+sex.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Top Secret Sex Tips from Southern Women</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1534282166037-J8UQP0BFV867Y73DRDYR/inappropriate+sexual+commentary.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Top Secret Sex Tips from Southern Women</image:title>
      <image:caption>William wasn't concerned with who'd wear the pants. In fact, he'd prefer if no one wore pants. Except Kyle. And his wife. Her penis wasn't magnificent like his.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1534282084837-WTCZQIC46877VFWPF1HW/southern+women+fake+friends.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Top Secret Sex Tips from Southern Women</image:title>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1534282349150-X51VVUU40B8V94VA57IR/southern+women+talk+sex.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Top Secret Sex Tips from Southern Women</image:title>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.andtheplotthickens.co/satire/reasons-millennials-divorce</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2019-02-10</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1518530150636-DHEKZGTXM0ZS1KFD0EKR/marital+chores+ironing+shirt.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Reasons Millennials are Getting Divorced</image:title>
      <image:caption>If you think he can't load a dishwasher, wait until you see the crease he's about to iron into this buttondown.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1518530253674-UW7FKTMDC8ZRHSYHEVF5/pouring+wine+wine+country.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Reasons Millennials are Getting Divorced</image:title>
      <image:caption>I'm sorry, but I don't think you understand that just because the wedding is over the open bar has to close.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1518530464003-4UGOYJYLRFBYNVXQLAWR/nursing+mother.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Reasons Millennials are Getting Divorced</image:title>
      <image:caption>"Sacrifices have to be made," he said. Indeed, she thought as she considered where best to bury the 210 lbs. of newly-acquired organic fertilizer.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1518530722267-GT4WOL4H5YC7GTYL9GXL/breakfast+in+bed.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Reasons Millennials are Getting Divorced</image:title>
      <image:caption>If he put cantaloupe on her breakfast-in-bed tray one more time, there'd be hell to pay.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1518530817555-O1ZI2H22E1CF45LFNVEM/401k+bitcoin.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Reasons Millennials are Getting Divorced</image:title>
      <image:caption>If he wasn't willing to bite the Bitcoin, she may as well bite the bullet and kick him to the curb...just like her 401K.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1518530921824-71VIX80VBHPIYD2CCWYP/pomeranian.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Reasons Millennials are Getting Divorced</image:title>
      <image:caption>"You are safe in my heart and my heart will go on and on." Sadie is best-known for stealing hearts and the show as the old lady in the all-dog reproduction of Titanic.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1518531186406-SV0LH53QHV92HSL9874A/newly+married+couplejpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Reasons Millennials are Getting Divorced</image:title>
      <image:caption>And to think, if they'd have never tried to file for divorce, they'd have never even gotten married!</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.andtheplotthickens.co/satire/twas-noche-before-feliz-navidad-elf-on-shelf-adventure</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2018-12-19</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1513809868082-69KVQWW0WD30A4KO2ITF/IMG_2187.JPG</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - ‘Twas the Noche before Feliz Navidad: An Elf on the Shelf Adventure</image:title>
      <image:caption>They didn't even bring toys.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1513809978177-ZGU2JYD5G16J3JYB7ZQ8/IMG_2194.JPG</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - ‘Twas the Noche before Feliz Navidad: An Elf on the Shelf Adventure</image:title>
      <image:caption>"Won't you guide my squad car tonight" just didn't have the same ring.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1513810031050-R17EB31NG9JOSBVRYABC/FullSizeRender-1.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - ‘Twas the Noche before Feliz Navidad: An Elf on the Shelf Adventure</image:title>
      <image:caption>"So, when do the conjugal visits start?"</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1513810140198-C0AQIX2NJZX20X57REZN/IMG_2044.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - ‘Twas the Noche before Feliz Navidad: An Elf on the Shelf Adventure</image:title>
      <image:caption>"Please don't tell Santa or he'll beat me."</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1513810341075-6MIGZZTY05KECNDFV05J/IMG_2202.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - ‘Twas the Noche before Feliz Navidad: An Elf on the Shelf Adventure</image:title>
      <image:caption>Hours later at the North Poler Bar…. Paulie: (after picking up the first round) We cool? Jose: Do I get to take a swing at your wife? Paulie: ...Yeah, okay. Jose: We cool.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1513809661964-7D1FZ5XA8AQM15LR3LMX/IMG_2207.PNG</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - ‘Twas the Noche before Feliz Navidad: An Elf on the Shelf Adventure</image:title>
      <image:caption>It was a bad day for Bitcoin; Jose was ready to move to Australia...except Santa wouldn't give him his passport.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.andtheplotthickens.co/satire/anti-boner-aerosol-is-best-stocking-stuffer-of-2017</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-12-12</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1513051310687-3431I6NQXZO9KZE7GCYS/samuel-henry-363397.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Anti-Boner Aerosol is the Best Stocking Stuffer of 2017</image:title>
      <image:caption>"Hey baby. I've got wood. Let's start a fire."</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1513051702841-JE6HYIN1SJ94TN3N5ZL9/john-baker-421759.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Anti-Boner Aerosol is the Best Stocking Stuffer of 2017</image:title>
      <image:caption>Of course he's ready for blast off...</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1513051800444-PIJZVXMAK5AGJ7WACU4J/roberto-nickson-446008.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Anti-Boner Aerosol is the Best Stocking Stuffer of 2017</image:title>
      <image:caption>Meanwhile, your idea of a good time involves lounging on the couch stroking your furball.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1513051974623-93YPVEICY3FO2B2EPNZU/toa-heftiba-214340.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Anti-Boner Aerosol is the Best Stocking Stuffer of 2017</image:title>
      <image:caption>Her: I love knowing there's no way this is ending in sex. Him: Wait, what?</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1513052070614-2J709AUEIHL92A97AM32/felipe-p-lima-rizo-474241.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Anti-Boner Aerosol is the Best Stocking Stuffer of 2017</image:title>
      <image:caption>"Be a good boy and put this on."</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1513052163603-8GLXM5LRHDDWO4WGBQVS/ian-dooley-298769.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Anti-Boner Aerosol is the Best Stocking Stuffer of 2017</image:title>
      <image:caption>Ladies, it's time to kiss lockjaw goodbye.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1513052281824-E1XCI0E10HOZOKO6HQ7I/brooke-lark-194253.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Anti-Boner Aerosol is the Best Stocking Stuffer of 2017</image:title>
      <image:caption>Now, who's ready to Netflix &amp; chill like an adult?</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.andtheplotthickens.co/satire/target-pilots-child-care-corral-wine-bar</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-12-07</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1512624882929-RHZ60S60L0C9BB7SHNT0/andrew-ruiz-394415.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Target Pilots Child Care Corral &amp; Wine Bar</image:title>
      <image:caption>The only real complaint was, "Why wasn't this a thing sooner?"</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1512667505294-MY7N4Z8F7XWSR2SRGT1I/IMG_4294.JPG</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Target Pilots Child Care Corral &amp; Wine Bar</image:title>
      <image:caption>Pros: Kids are happy because they get limitless Target stickers. Cons: Kids get limitless stickers.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1512624984362-LBL3CI1T3DPMT0K5VKJU/francisco-de-legarreta-405669.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Target Pilots Child Care Corral &amp; Wine Bar</image:title>
      <image:caption>The powder room with crumpets &amp; tufted chaise loungers are expected to be a game-changer.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1512625063343-DC843WQ73LXNJPPOFK5H/christopher-campbell-33543.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Target Pilots Child Care Corral &amp; Wine Bar</image:title>
      <image:caption>Marcus is an Australian fireman by day, but by night, he's the guy at Target rubbing your shoulders while you shop.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.andtheplotthickens.co/satire/pillow-case-murder-ends-with-acquittal</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
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    <lastmod>2017-12-01</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1512167893009-2C7ZHPVHF0OMVADD75EM/hs-lee-315171.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Pillow Case Murder Ends with Acquittal</image:title>
      <image:caption>It really was such a nice pillow.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1512167999712-GRSF4S8AHO9B15BK7EK6/edward-cisneros-415596.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Pillow Case Murder Ends with Acquittal</image:title>
      <image:caption>Somebody was going to have the bring the fun to this trial.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1512168043990-SERWK5UWFMF830VFJ87T/rawpixel-com-268375.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Pillow Case Murder Ends with Acquittal</image:title>
      <image:caption>His hobbies include facial hair and craft beer.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1512168132281-5PJECRVCQB8QJY4AIFBJ/rawpixel-com-274858.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Pillow Case Murder Ends with Acquittal</image:title>
      <image:caption>Morgan: "Nice purse." Mansplain: "I'd laugh if I thought women could be funny."</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1512168330506-VEX6523D632KHO5RE11R/rawpixel-com-351767.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Pillow Case Murder Ends with Acquittal</image:title>
      <image:caption>You can't tell, but some of his beard was singed off by that wicked Grizzly Adams burn.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1512168879770-TM36S9OR8QQLD33RFYMD/becky-phan-23122.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Pillow Case Murder Ends with Acquittal</image:title>
      <image:caption>It's all fun and games until the lions start eating the clowns.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1512168938846-EAH62TBOR3MHFDUJQTJ1/stas-svechnikov-31184.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - Pillow Case Murder Ends with Acquittal</image:title>
      <image:caption>Lady Smitherington was haunted knowing it'd be years before she could afford another pillow like that Cuddledown.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.andtheplotthickens.co/satire/sneak-peak-at-hgtv-tiny-house-thanksgiving-edition</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-11-22</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1511327058479-THD07U5G4ZEE7XBLTMZJ/niv-rozenberg-356666.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - A Sneak Peak at HGTV Tiny House: Thanksgiving Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>"So what's the resale on this bad boy?" --Asks no HGTV tiny house hunter, ever.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1511326838463-ITUQ81JYYLJQZQ3BGHVA/freestocks-org-73878.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - A Sneak Peak at HGTV Tiny House: Thanksgiving Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>Emily: Hopes maybe after this baby, Dallas will get his sorry butt in gear.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1511326897359-IKP3VQRQQUTBXGAEYZBO/alice-achterhof-85968.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - A Sneak Peak at HGTV Tiny House: Thanksgiving Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>Dallas: Hopes the show will give his art more exposure, but he's not selling out. Don't let the button-down confuse you.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1511327209135-YBU2ECJ9A3SFFGS50UBQ/ruth-caron-57273.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - A Sneak Peak at HGTV Tiny House: Thanksgiving Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>You people had one job. #didntdietobedry #judgingyou</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1511327499230-QIWZ0ID0L6U0NQARX68D/andreas-wagner-319360.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - A Sneak Peak at HGTV Tiny House: Thanksgiving Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>Rufus: The only one not fool enough to admit the turkey is dry.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1511327378421-XINJJ9RI1TPQTH2YM73T/lee-campbell-191016.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - A Sneak Peak at HGTV Tiny House: Thanksgiving Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>There's no shame in Mila's holiday survival game.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1511327588752-90COQ1Z0735QV2AU31T3/carolinie-cavalli-26675.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - A Sneak Peak at HGTV Tiny House: Thanksgiving Edition</image:title>
      <image:caption>As God as her witness, Emily will never use a hotplate again.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.andtheplotthickens.co/satire/people-not-alcohol-ruin-holidays</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2017-11-15</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1510721174475-W11ZD4PKZLE0YN812RXU/matthieu-joannon-294645.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - People, Not Alcohol, Ruin Holidays</image:title>
      <image:caption>Finally, some good news.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1510720529047-CLE04BCTSOL6XYGQD9QS/me+happy+baby+copy.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - People, Not Alcohol, Ruin Holidays</image:title>
      <image:caption>Baby, too excited about pie to be offended.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1510720140527-PK1GLKG6K4C985YIV3HT/FullSizeRender.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - People, Not Alcohol, Ruin Holidays</image:title>
      <image:caption>The family turkey: Most thankful for already being dead.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1510719881618-22RXSBYA3H51DW0DP5ZM/mike-wilson-188132.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - People, Not Alcohol, Ruin Holidays</image:title>
      <image:caption>Their story had the makings of a beautiful murder mystery.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1510719725105-BNNH1LU4EJJTJ13N7YA8/frank-albrecht-248114.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - People, Not Alcohol, Ruin Holidays</image:title>
      <image:caption>Get out of my dreams and into my nightmare.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1510720243287-WTUXXU668LJBJXSQU4AG/nicolas-barbier-garreau-303146.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - People, Not Alcohol, Ruin Holidays</image:title>
      <image:caption>The real crime was not saving the officer any dressing.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59e61d99d74cff795c4d6d09/1510721255635-AC4XW60BIEF34FMIP4I2/vintage-1772596_1920.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Satire - People, Not Alcohol, Ruin Holidays</image:title>
      <image:caption>If you’re a person and plan to spend the holidays with people, chances are, something’s going to go horribly awry. Cut right to the chase by taking a bottle or two (or a case) of your favorite Beaujolais Nouveau or other festive vino from Amazon.com. Please give thanks responsibly.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
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      <image:caption>Winners will be picked at random from those who participate on Instagram &amp; Facebook. You don’t have to tag on both platforms, but it will boost your chances of being randomly selected by my impartial selection committee.</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>To my beautiful son...always.</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Look for this sticker to confirm you're getting a signed copy.</image:caption>
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