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And the Plot Thickens

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Author * Mom * Introvert 

(pairs well with Wine)

And the Plot Thickens

  • Satire
  • The F is for Fiction
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Man Misses Call and Drops Ball  

September 25, 2025 Amy Delcambre

Despite being somehow generic replicas of one another, they were all married, and all seemed to have the same carat of diamond rings on their left hands. And then there were the matching Balenciaga totes. But none of them, insofar, were the “one that got away”, his beloved Stella.

Unattached for the better part of a decade unable to forget his now-married ex-girlfriend, Stella, Carlton eyed the ladies, then their ring fingers as he passed through the Saturday afternoon throng in front of the shops in Downtown Fairhope, though, here, it would be spelled shoppes.

As he approached the Verizon store, it was as if he’s dreamed her into being. The petite, shapely blonde on the sidewalk looked just like the green-eyed bombshell who once made good on her promise to “show him crazy” when he made the near-fatal error of calling her as much. He felt it was defensible given she was trying to persuade him to streak across the Vatican gardens. It was little consolation to Stella later when being interviewed by la polizia that he admitted he really underestimated how fast she could run in heels.

Stella could always feel a mistake coming on, and to her delight, there was Carlton.

Thirsty and alone, Carlton felt perhaps he was being too uptight and perhaps could’ve used more adventure. Interestingly, it was through that experience that Stella met the man who would become her husband. Had Carlton taken the dare, would he and Stella have ended up together? Was she still married? Was that even—

“Carlton! Hi!” Ah, Stella.

“Stella!” Carlton threw his arms out wide feeling very much like some kind of wooden puppet as he lumbered over to wrap Stella in a hug. “You, uh, shopping for a phone?” Carlton asked stepping back from Stella and nodding toward the store.

Carlton felt awkward as it has been a long time since he had touched a woman.

“I’m thinking about changing my service,” Stella said peering up at him from long lashes. “I’m not really happy with my current choice,” she pressed, twirling her enormous wedding ring on her finger.

Carlton understood what that gesture meant. “Oh, well, you know I have Verizon. I’ve been pretty happy with them.”

“Yeah?” Stella held Carlton’s gaze. “I’ve had AT&T for about a decade, and I think it’s time to explore other options.”

“Well, you won’t go wrong with Verizon.”

“I bet I won’t. I’ve had them before. I was quite pleased with Verizon in the past…I feel sure they have more services that will better satisfy my current needs.” Stella winked.

“It sounds like you’ve put a lot of thought into this. I know a bit about Verizon. What kind of needs aren’t being met with your current service?”

Stella bit her lip. “Connection. The connection has been really bad in my house for quite a while, and I’ve tried troubleshooting, but it’s just not working.”

“Maybe it’s the device,” Carlton offered.

“No, my device works fine. Trust me. It’s very responsive. Handles like a dream.” Stella adjusts her bra strap with a downward glance.

“Boy,” Stella thought, “the dummy just isn’t getting it.”

Following her gaze, Carlton is momentarily distracted by Stella’s ample cleavage. Shaking his head, he considers—her device works well, but she’s having problems with the connection at home. Suddenly, he understands. “I think,” he ponders, scratching his oblivious chin, “that’s got to be a signal issue.”

“Oh, it is,” Stella agrees. “I just can’t get Verizon to do anything about it, and I’m tired of dropped calls. I need responsiveness. I need connection every time I push those buttons, do you get what I mean, Carlton?”

Feeling this conversation is going quite well, brightly, stupidly, Carlton replies, “Absolutely! You want what you signed up for to work.”

“Exactly!” Stella exhales a relieved smile.

How beautiful, Carlton thinks. He always loved how she sparkled when she felt they were on the same page. He misses that. Suddenly ashamed to be attracted to a married woman, Carlton blurts, “Well, I hope it works out for you, Stella! Tell Timothy I said ‘hello’,” and then immediately felt like an idiot because he couldn’t remember ever meeting Timothy, and he all but admitted to lurking around Stella’s Facebook page.

Stella pauses, dumbfounded. “I—we—you thought we were talking about cell phone service?”

Now confused, Carlton replies, “Well, sure. What else would we be talking about?”

“Oh my god,” Stella says pulling her sunglasses over her alert eyes before wagging her fingers in the air and trilling, “Yoo-hoo! Anthony! Darling! Tell me, aren’t you with T-Mobile?” And then, once again, she was gone.

Stella couldn’t take anymore. She had places to see and people to do.


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