“For every Hooters, there should be a Cocks,” announced Jane Wood as she cut the ribbons of her new women’s restaurant, Cocks.
The first Cocks, which will be opening in Mobile, AL in the remodeled Quincy’s building, is the “woman’s answer to Hooters,” according to Wood.
Wood is the driving force behind Cocks. The idea for the new restaurant, Wood claims, started after her husband took her to Hooters in 2003. There she witnessed scantily clad 20-something year old women serving wings and beer while sporting events played on televisions all over the room.
Wood claimed she didn’t find the situation offensive, necessarily, but she wasn’t thrilled with how her over-eager, middle-aged husband seemed to react to the busty server’s presence.
Still, Wood had to admit it was all harmless; the waitress was mere eye candy.
“The thing that bothered me the most was that the restaurant objectified women. No, it’s not strip club, but it’s pretty blatant objectification,” said Wood.
Woods explained that she knew there was no way she was going to be able to shut down all of the Hooters locations in America, so she decided to level the playing field.
“I said to myself, what women need is an equivalent to Hooters. Of course, the first thing I did was come up with a name. It had to be some kind of male body part that could also have an innocent connotation,” Wood said.
Wood went through a series of potential names like Balls, Pecs, and High Tight Behinds before ultimately setting on Cocks.
Wood laughed, “Cocks was just perfect. We’d have a big ol’ cock on all of the signs and billboards, but everyone would know what it meant, just like with the Hooters.”
What came next was a bit more challenging. Wood had to design the restaurant’s concept, establish standards and safety procedures for her staff.
All of the wait-staff at Cocks are young men, ages 18 to 27. They all have to be in great physical shape, since their uniform consists of tight jeans, cowboy boots, and no shirt.
The tables at Cocks are raised to an appropriate height, for the guests. Booths are ultra comfortable and plush.
The menu consists of light-fluffy dessert items that create the illusion of weightlessness, like mousse and tiramisu. There are also delicious, exotic salads with naturally fat-free dressings, a variety of hummus dips, and a variety of sushi dishes.
There are some more rough-and-ready dishes, like Buffalo wings, onion rings, hamburgers, and of course, the restaurant’s signature dish, the soon-to-be-famous Cock Dog.
Drink specials are catered to the majority of women’s preferences as well. Half-price bottle wine or bottle champagne happy hours are a must at Cocks.
Flat screen HD televisions flank the restaurant. The television at the entrance scrolls through images of hunky male celebrities, shirtless, of course. The TVs in the restaurant play SoapNet, E!, Lifetime, and a variety of other female shows. Of course, on game days, they do play football games.
“It is the south, after all,” says Wood.
To spice up other nights, Wood has incorporated what she calls “movie night.”
“It’s for all of those single girls out there who want to just sit back with a glass of wine and watch a romantic comedy or a classic film, but she doesn’t want to do it alone,” Wood explained
Cocks’ first-ever movie night will kick off with the southern classic, “Gone with the Wind.”
“I forgot to mention, that on movie nights, happy hour prices last all night,” noted Wood.
Ideally, Wood envisions there being a Cocks right next door to every Hooters in the country.
“As far as I’m concerned, Cocks and Hooters go hand in hand,” said Wood.
Future additions for the restaurant may include a dance floor and a bull, which Wood plans to name Cockand.
“That way he can be called the Cockand bull!” Wood laughed at her own joke.
Cocks will open October 1 and Wood invites everyone to “come on up and see what the fuss is about!”
Disclaimer: Cocks is purely fictional. It will not be opening October 1. This piece was written on September 18, 2009 and published in The Vanguard, The University of South Alabama’s student newspaper where I was a section editor. God, they let me have fun. The image is from a Google search and is of a restaurant elsewhere.