I was in Huntsville last week for my daughter’s space camp graduation, and while my other daughters were rock wall climbing with their aunt and uncle, I took myself to Prohibition, a Madison restaurant not far from where my brother lives.
I sat at the bar on the outside part of the venue. The bartender’s arena was in the middle, and across from me was an indoor bar with a smattering of customers. One of the people sitting there was a large older man about 10-20 years old than I am. Across from him was a wiry, kinda dorky curly-haired kid with glasses—I say “kid”, but the dude was in his 20s, though, he had a voice to suggest he was in his early 20s.
The service was winding down, and the older guy—obviously single and lonely—was chatting with the kid, trying to get him to stay for a drink. I knew it was coming before it did, but—yep, he zinged me. He gestured across the bar as soon as I looked up to make eye contact to suggest that the kid could stay and have another drink with us. He offered to buy me a drink.
And listen, I am a staunch feminist in that I believe in equal rights, and I think that women should be equally as capable as men of paying for the things that they need and want. In other words, I am not a pick-me. But also, this guy was paying for company, and bet—he would have to pay. I was at my max expenditure for the meal, so if he wanted my company, he was going to have to make me an offer I couldn’t refuse. Apparently that offer was Sauvignon blanc.
(Aside, if it makes me a cold-hearted bitch for taking a drink in exchange for my time, well, get fucked. My time is my most valuable currency, and I didn’t know this dude from a bar of soap, but I do love a good drink, and my brother and the kids weren’t home yet, so why not? He knew what he was paying for. My energy and my attention and my time…all which are infinitely more valuable than a glass of a Sauvy B, but I digress.)
The dude came around to sit beside me, and I switched my gears on. I laughed out loud at some of his comments—he was okay. Funny. Nice. A little goading. He did get the kid to come over because when I told him my name, the older man said, “I have an ex-wife named Amy,” and I guffawed so loudly that the kid thought I was the ex-wife. Good god no, child. (Men, please abandon the dream that you’ll get a hot younger wife if you just make those Benjamins and have a job that sounds good. You might get a wife like that, but statistically…it’s not likely you’re going to have a companion who stimulates you.)
But so the youngling comes and sits next to us, and we all chat. The old guy buys another drink because once I was done, I was willing to be done, but he offered, and I—perhaps a little embarrassingly—gladly accepted another drink. I say embarrassing because at this point it was obvious I wasn’t staying unless the old gent was buying.
More conversation ensued. I was there. Or parts of me were there, but here’s the part that leapt out. The gentleman, who was obviously a little past tipsy, started on this random diatribe—“I mean, some people hate me because I voted for Trump. Because I support Trump.”
And I really had to work to control this face, but at the same time, I was trying to assuage his fragmented esteem. But here’s what I didn’t say…
Bro. Nobody hates you because you voted for Trump. I mean, they might, but those aren’t your people, but it’s not about Trump. (I also told the youngling to run.) It’s not about who you voted for. I’ll be honest…much to my chagrin, I voted for him back when I was still mired in the brainwashing that brought me. Like, dude, we know you’re still just locked into the programming. It’s not a cardinal sin, but to continue to support him?
Name one good thing that’s happened since he and his girl Elon stole the election. Name one. Relations between men and women have decayed into necrotizing territory. The economy is more full of shit than cousin Eddie’s trailer. Morale is so low that a worm couldn’t limbo under that bar. It’s fugly and by that I mean effing ugly. Send help.
I mean, I guess I could be optimistic…we are all collectively trolling the same government with our memes and our snipes and swipes. Comedy couldn’t be better, but Jesus H. What in the Hell are we doing here? It’s bad. Name one thing that’s gotten better.
I’m waiting.
Okay, I’m done waiting because you can’t. And I’m not talking about personally for you. In case you’re one of the people whose benefited, you’re still not looking at the bigger picture. What’s better for humanity? Not a goddamn thing, and if you want to argue with me, I want you to go find the nearest pole, drop your pants, and sit on it.
I digress. I didn’t explain to the corpulent older gent that it’s about the principles. It’s about the stupidity of wanting to die on the hill that “I still support trump” because supporting trump is synonymous with saying, “I am a narcissistic sociopath who is self-serving and who genuinely believes that with enough money and position and power I can have the hottest pussy in the world.” That’s it.
And to the the lonely old man at the bar buying a woman who has absolutely zero interest in him other than milking the dud for free booze, I have to ask—how is that working out for you, buddy?
You got a hot woman who’d never otherwise give you the time of day to talk to you, and you coerced a young man who couldn’t care fucking less into a conversation. How is that working out? Really.
You’re going to choose your adherence to a flatulent, demented psychopath who was never loved enough because you relate to them over enacting some kind of awareness and just…admitting you were wrong?
I can do it. Look—I voted for the fucker in the past. I was wrong. Mistakes were made. I am fixing it by being what is the most obnoxious thing in the world—evangelical about not being what I was. It’s like when an atheist discovers Christianity or when an alcoholic really “gets” sobriety. They sell it like its merch. That’s me on being anti conservative / Trump / systemic / fucking brainwashed.
But listen, old dude, nobody gives a fuck that you voted for Trump. Nobody hates you. You hate you, and you just don’t know how to admit to it or own it or let it go. You’re not a bad man. You’re a lovable human. We are all lovable humans. We can even love the person that Trump once was before he turned entirely into whatever the fuck he is now. But we can also not love his actions because we don’t. Because he’s the devil incarnate.
The only thing I’ve seen relative to staunch republicans actually acknowledging this is that they’ve become quieter. God love them. But also—good. Please shut the fuck up.
Suddenly my mom is aware of how shitty the economy is. She wasn’t over a year ago when I was drowning financially as a widowed mother of three. Now she’s suddenly very aware. Good.
But guys—yeah, there will be shitty people who can’t let stuff go. There will be people who will die on their hills. Let them. But you don’t need to worry about them. You worry about you. Worry about how you feel about you, and what’s more…worry about the fact that you’re allowed to make mistakes. I did. You were brainwashed. You were hijacked from childhood. We all were. The only difference is those who had less were awakened sooner.
I am embarrassed it took me 36 years to wake up, but I’m so glad I woke up. I’m happy to make amends, and I’ll try to do with with less obnoxious verve than a newly converted evangelical Christian. But I can’t promise I will succeed in that I will keep my mouth shut.
Guys. Men. People. Nobody hates you for voting for Trump. Some people might not be okay with the fact that you made that mistake…but so what? Fuck what people think. You have an entire life to live, and you are allowed to change your damn mind. I changed mine. So, it’s okay.
But if you are like the old gent I spoke to and you still want to die on the hill of “I support Trump”, well, then expect to be lonely. Because we aren’t here to negotiate morality and humanity for chump change. So, nobody hates you because you voted for Trump. They hate you because you are upholding oppression, devaluation, evil, inhumanity, and cruelty. Because you still cannot name one fucking thing that has been done since 2024 that’s good, and sure as fucking shit—you cannot identify one goddamn thing that’s good that’s been done for the benefit of humanity that overrides any monetary value, and if you can, well, fuck you.