I’m calling it energetic celibacy, which is where I fully protect my energy by only giving it to energetic soul connections that are fully respectful of it. The reality is that I am open to a partner again, but clearly that’s not happening on this timeline. I know this is a season for fully choosing myself, writing, and focusing on my kids. I know that by keeping my head down and concentrating exclusively on that, I’ll be able to keep raising my frequency and will one day meet or reconnect with someone (anyone but ugh obviously) who is really willing to invest in me as much as I am with him.
Read moreHow choosing yourself & walking away restores inner balance
We all have a balance of divine feminine and masculine within us. We are born as souls—our souls are genderless—we are born in a male or female body, but the duality must be balanced within us, which is why I am so drawn to men who openly embrace their divine feminine. I used to buy flowers for my husband. I was the one who grilled. But he was the one who fixed cars. I was the one who cooked dinner. These are just tasks we all should learn how to do—not gender roles, which is an absurd concept.
When we restore balance within ourselves, we restore it in society. But this means genuine reverence and respect. This means having the courage to choose. This means self-discipline and controlling one’s desires as it pertains to the other gender. This also means self-sufficiency.
Read moreWhat decentralizing men feels like (and how I did it)
I had to burn down a bajillion times. The patriarchy only has to burn once. But one day, we will all be free of this conditioned nonsense. But that starts with going inward and decentralizing the external. When I walked away from one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, I saved myself, and I took back my power, and guys…I rather like it. I think I’m going to keep it.
Read moreDie with a Smile
I say we are all connected like Rio Celeste, like a river that runs through all of us because we are, and my friend sent me a link where Glennon Doyle uses the same metaphor to describe our connectedness. We all have our boats—our purposes, our priorities. We can’t take on every issue, but we have what we have…mine is love and relationships.
Read moreAnd I hope you make me dance
And that’s true. No matter what happens, when you left, you were my husband. I became a widow. Not a divorcee, not a single woman. A widow, and like you said, and as I’m sure you’d expect, not a conventional widow. Like you said in your letter…a Ms. Scarlett, the widow who wears black and dances with a blockade runner at the charity auction, the kind of woman who digs in the dirt to plant seeds so she can rise again, the consummate survivor.
Read moreDo you even know what you want?
In a world where normal is determined by what the majority is doing, it can be really difficult to discern what you want authentically for yourself.
Read moreThings I’m thankful we did for a happy marriage
I am fully aware that even though our marriage was short—less than a decade—it was a success, and what’s more at the point that Sean died…we had finally figured out what life was really all about.
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